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Therapy
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“... the trouble with therapy is that it makes life go backwards ...”
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“The point of therapy is to get unhooked, not to thrash around on how you got hooked.”
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“I should warn you that, aside from being unattractive, therapy is also very expensive. You and your man will have to decide how you are going to pay for the sessions. Should it be the one who's 'craziest'? the one who's 'richest'? the 'eternal loser'? your parents? (Often a popular choice.)”
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“A therapist lays bare the 'inner workings' of your relationship. Who wields the power? Who is the 'Parent'? Who is the 'Fascist'? Who is the 'Big Cheese'? Who is the 'Cottage Cheese'? Who is the 'Little Tomato'?”
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“A therapist paraphrases the things you say, in a way that makes you realize how much more intelligent he is than you.”
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“Asking questions in therapy would be so helpful if anyone ever answered them accurately. But no one ever does.”
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“[On therapy:] One of the first things I tell new clients is not to trust me. ... It's not that I'm pernicious or false — it's just that I'm fallible. If you trust me before trusting yourself, you'll rob us both of excellent counsel.”
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“Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kind of like being the guy on a date.”
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“Scott and I would have to be fast learners and the therapist a speed talker if we were going to fix our marital problems before we went broke. ... Unfortunately, there was no listing under Drive-Through Counseling Services; no Therapy to God; and most of all, no One-Hour Cure or It's Free.”
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“Is there stop 'n' go counseling for couples on the run?”
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“Men, as a general rule, shy away from therapy because there is no obvious way to keep score.”
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“The phenomenal success of the recovery movement reflects two simple truths that emerge in adolescence: all people love to talk about themselves, and most people are mad at their parents. You don't have to be in denial to doubt that truths like these will set us free.”
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“Time, in therapy more than anywhere else, is money.”
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“In right field we had a woman who was a therapist. As a right fielder, she was a wonderful therapist. ... Whenever a fly popped up to center, she could be heard saying to the center fielder, 'I believe in your skills; I support you in your effort to catch the ball.'”
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“Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.”
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“Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.”
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“... he discovered therapy, and psychoanalysis became the great drama of his life. He absorbed its language and its insights in much the same way that he read great literature: he became wise in a vacuum.”
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“The art of clinical diagnosis lies in the ability to ask the right questions.”
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“All of my friends were seeing a therapist, and I thought something was wrong with me that I didn't see a therapist. So I went to a therapist to find out why I wasn't seeing a therapist. And it turns out I'm very screwed up. Thank God I found a therapist to tell me for $125 an hour.”
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“Throughout my childhood, my parents dropped me off at a multitude of therapists' offices in hopes that I'd avoid growing up to be the kind of asshole who writes books about them. Also because it was sometimes easier than finding a nanny.”