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Abigail Van Buren
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“A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.”
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“Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.”
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“People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.”
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“The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back.”
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“Wisdom does not automatically come with old age. Nothing does — except wrinkles.”
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“It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.”
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“The less you talk, the more you're listened to.”
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“It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself.”
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“Never give anyone an ultimatum unless you are prepared to lose.”
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“It's only work if you would rather be doing something else.”
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“[When asked if she thought much about dying:] No, it's the last thing I want to do.”
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“Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.”
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“There are two kinds of people in the world — those who walk into a room and say, 'There you are' — and those who say, 'Here I am!'”
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“Women who miscalculate are called mothers.”
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“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.”
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“A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project.”
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“You are what you are when nobody is looking.”
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“While forbidden fruit is said to taste sweeter, it usually spoils faster.”
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“If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.”
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“If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.”
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“Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you're supervised or not; finish a job once it's started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.”
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“Men who miscalculate are called 'mathematically challenged.' Women who miscalculate are called 'mothers.'”
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“Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.”
Abigail Van Buren, U.S. advice columnist
(1918 - 2013)
Full name: Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips. Her column was called “Dear Abby.”