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Los Angeles
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“A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.”
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“There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicious are advised to choose the latter.”
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“In a foreign country people don't expect you to be just like them, but in Los Angeles, which is infiltrating the world, they don't consider that you might be different because they don't recognize any values except their own. And soon there may not be any others.”
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“Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.”
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“We live in Los Angeles, where you are expected to move every two to four years, so people can see how well your career is going.”
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“Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.”
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“... Los Angeles [is] possibly the rudest city in the nation, with a population that is exceedingly unhelpful. Once I was screamed at by the operator manning the 911 switchboard for trying to report a dead body I had seen on the street. Apparently, I was not the first caller, and somehow I should have known that.”
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“Los Angeles is a sophisticated city; it has no eccentricities and no heart.”
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“Elony loved LA. It was so full of itself. She loved being part of the huge event that was LA: the huge event of everybody doing better.”
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“... in Los Angeles ... was the thinking-est crowd on earth: how to get ahead, how to mold a better body, how to have a better relationship, how to score, earn, fight, win, get published, be a star.”
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“Tip the world over and everything loose falls into L.A.”
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“Los Angeles people are incapable of passively mainlining TV and movies. Here you have to read who produced or directed every episode, who wrote it, who had guests shots and whether you know them personally and if they like you. You have to figure out who everybody's agent is and whether yours is better. You not only know but deeply care about the difference between such job titles as Producer, Supervising Producer, and Executive Story Editor. ... So while the rest of the country is lying stupid in a media-induced coma, people in L.A. are in constant withdrawal.”
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“... success in L.A. is completely arbitrary. One day you're the brilliant genius of life, the next day people act like there's a bad smell when you approach. Lots of expensive, late-model cars are offered in the L.A. Times every day by people who have suddenly begun to smell bad. The stakes are just too high for human dignity.”
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“Visitors to Los Angeles, then and now, were put out because the residents of Los Angeles had the inhospitable idea of building a city comfortable to live in, rather than a monument to astonish the eye of jaded travelers.”
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“[On Los Angeles:] Waterfalls, wildflowers, a wilderness within the city. What more could you want?”
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“One feature about Los Angeles that I particularly love is the chance for association with all kinds of creative artists, a thing I never before have had. I certainly do love a number of the writers, the painters, the musicians, and the sculptors that I meet here. ... Next to the sunshine, I appreciate it the most of anything in California.”
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“It occurs to her that what she most appreciates about this City of the Angels is that which is missing, the voids, the unstitched borders, the empty corridors, the not yet deciphered. She is grateful for the absence of history.”
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“My sense of Los Angeles was very New York provincial, as in 'all those people are crazy out there' (which they are), and stupid (which they're not), and immoral (it's more interesting than that).”
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“It is hard for people who have not lived in Los Angeles to realize how radically the Santa Ana figures in the local imagination. ... The wind shows us how close to the edge we are.”
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“Los Angeles is a sprawl of broken dreams and lost opportunities, disconnected souls and entertainment junkies. The sunny skies and graceful palms don't redeem jammed roadways to nowhere.”
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“It takes a certain kind of innocence to like L.A. ...”
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“Somebody once called Los Angeles 'Seven Suburbs in Search of a City.'”
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“[On Los Angeles:] This city is a hundred years old but try and find some trace of its history. Every culture is swallowed up and spat out as a franchise. Taco Bell. Benihana of Tokyo. Numero Uno Pizza. Pup 'N' Taco. Kentucky Fried Chicken. Fast food sushi. Teriyaki Bowl.”
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“Recently it was pointed out to me — in a kind of hurtful way, to be honest — that people in Los Angeles are aurally challenged. That is, at social events, we simply do not listen to others. We do not ask them questions about themselves, we do not nod attentively when they speak; really, if we were to examine ourselves, we would realize that we simply have no interest in others at all.”
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“... living in Los Angeles was like being an extra in a movie that was starring other people entirely.”
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“Los Angeles is the nation's cultural scapegoat.”
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“In a pure anonymous encounter you find a world alive and full of character. In New York, the street adventures are incredible. There are a thousand stories in a single block. You see the stories in people's faces. You hear the songs immediately. Here, in Los Angeles, there are fewer characters because they are all inside automobiles.”
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“Envy is that tawdry emotion one never becomes totally immune to here in L.A.; at any given moment, most of us have our noses flat-pressed against one windowpane or another. Everywhere you turn, there's something or someone bigger, better, more beautiful. There's always a blonder blond, a buxomer babe, a hotter award on the mantelpiece.”
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“... hardly anything in L.A. was close to anywhere else you wanted to go.”
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“Living in L.A. is like not having a date on Saturday night.”