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Texas
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“Take Texas the way Texas takes bourbon. Straight. It goes down easier.”
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“... here in Texas maybe we've got into the habit of confusing bigness with greatness.”
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“In Texas the lid blew off the sky a long time ago / So there's nothing to keep the wind from blowing / And it blows all the time.”
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“... no one has ever accused Texas of being in the vanguard of social progress. This is the most macho state in the U.S. of A. By lore, legend, and fact, Texas is 'hell' on women and horses.”
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“... the more a body tries to explode all the foolish myths that have grown up about Texas by telling the truth, the more a body will wind up adding to the mythology.”
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“Texans do not talk like other Americans ... shit is a three-syllable word with a y in it.”
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“Sometimes I think Texas exists as a reality check for those who might wander too far toward the precious.”
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“I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults. If Texas were a sane place, it wouldn't be nearly as much fun.”
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“... everything's bigger and better in Texas, and that holds especially true for bugs.”
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“Our tax code encourages people to raise thoroughbred horses, not children.”
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“Everything edible is fried in Texas! Or it is buried in the ground to cook before it is eaten. ... Texas food should be forbidden! 'The steaks at night are big and bright, deep in the heart of Texas!' And they are always afloat in grease. Next morning you are served a smaller steak, which serves as a platform for two fried eggs ... all of this afloat in the same grease! 'Chicken, you say? You bet! Comin' up!' Same grease! They are right. Comin' up! For hours afterwards. I couldn't believe the crust of an apple pie! Same grease!”
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“No wonder, he thought, that panhandle people were a godly lot, for they lived in a sudden, violent atmosphere. Weather kept them humble.”
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“[Texas:] That overgrown sandbox.”
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“Deep in the heart of Texas.”
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“If I owned hell and west Texas, he said, I do believe I'd sell west Texas and live in hell.”