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Shoes
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“... if high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.”
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“Civilization is only the advance from shoeless toes to toeless shoes.”
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“Englishwomen's shoes look as if they had been made by someone who had often heard shoes described, but had never seen any ... ”
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“Even if you're fat, one thing always fits: shoes.”
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“How to Tell a Good Pair of Shoes: Do you like them? Then they're good shoes.”
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“People have an annoying tendency to compare shoe prices with the cost of other things. They might say, 'Wow — those shoes cost as much as a sofa!' Well, this may be true, but the comparison is so silly. After all, you can't wear a sofa.”
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“Walking in high heels should be made an Olympic sport.”
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“Of all the wonderful things that men and women share, shoes, tragically, are not one of them. This is because men lack the shoe chromosome.”
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“How to Tell If Shoes Fit: Walking around the shoe store is not going to tell you any more than test-driving a car around a showroom. And those little mirrors? That's so you can tell how your cat is going to like your shoes. The real way to tell how shoes fit is how badly you want them.”
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“The woman who steals your boyfriend has the ugliest shoes on earth. Truly hideous. You wouldn't be caught dead in them.”
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“Plastic shoes are to the shoe world what fast food is to fine cuisine.”
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“The human figure was meant to stand erect, well planted upon its feet: whatever throws the body out of the ordained equipoise disturbs nearly all of its functions. These high, narrow heels ... destroy the proper position of the spinal column in walking. ... To these high and ill-placed heels, which destroy the balance of the body, may be attributed much of the prevalent spinal disease, a very large proportion of the diseases and weakness of the eye, and not a few cases of insanity.”
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“... it is a shoe designer's job to be a year ahead of our collective unconscious.”
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“From Memorial Day to Labor Day, you may wear white shoes. Not before and not after. As a command, the White Shoe Edict should be clear and simple enough. Do not violate it. In a society in which everything else has become relative, a matter of how it makes you feel, a question between you and your conscience, and an opportunity for you to be really you, this is an absolute.”
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“'Creativeness' often consists of merely turning up what is already there. Did you know that right and left shoes were thought up only a little more than a century ago?”
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“... shoes sticking out like tongues beneath the long black robe.”
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“The stiletto is the icon of erotic femininity. You're taller, thinner and curvier, all at the same time. What's not to like?”
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“A brand-new pair of toe shoes presents itself to us as an enemy with a will of its own that must be tamed.”
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“A toe shoe is as eccentric as the ballerina who wears it: their marriage is a commitment.”
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“Attempts to limit female mobility by hampering locomotion are ancient and almost universal. The foot-binding of upper-class Chinese girls and the Nigerian custom of loading women's legs with pounds of heavy brass wire are extreme examples, but all over the world similar stratagems have been employed to make sure that once you have caught a woman she cannot run away, and even if she stays around she cannot keep up with you. ... Literally as well as figuratively modern women's shoes are what keeps Samantha from running as fast as Sammy.”
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“I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.”