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  • Most sermons sound to me like commercials — but I can't make out whether God is the Sponsor or the Product.

  • Theology was his main, almost his sole, intellectual interest and if his parishioners could not always understand his sermons they were happy enough to accept this as sure evidence of their vicar's erudition.

  • That's all one asks of a sermon. No possible relevance to anything but itself.

  • You can't cheat a praying man. If he comes to hear a sermon, he hears a sermon.

  • I want a human sermon. I don't care what Melchisedek, or Zerubbabel, or Kerenhappuk did, ages ago; I want to know what I am to do, and I want somebody besides a theological bookworm to tell me; somebody who is sometimes tempted and tried, and is not too dignified to own it; somebody like me, who is always sinning and repenting; somebody who is glad and sorry, and cries and laughs, and eats and drinks, and wants to fight when they are trodden on, and don't!

  • A good ad should be like a good sermon: It must not only comfort the afflicted — it also must afflict the comfortable!

  • We had the wrath of God four times in sermons this last summer, but God cannot be angry all the time, — nobody could, especially in summer ...

  • It would be difficult to determine whether the age is growing better or worse; for I think our plays are growing like sermons, and our sermons like plays.

  • I'd as soon hear a bird-clapper preach as him — theer'd be more sense an' less noise!

  • There was the torture of sermons, and that not a slight one, for I was very fond of them.

  • ... there is Mr. Wheeler in the pulpit, and he always talks of eternity till he forgets time.