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Office
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“The people I work with are like family. I don't mean this in a nice way.”
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“ He [Robert Benchley] and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.”
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“No matter what the job description says, your real job is to make the boss look good.”
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“What a denial of our humanity that at the centers of power, where decisions are made, there is no room for nurturing, for love, and children. There is more to life than the 'inhuman' work place. It is terrible that many men do not know that: it is a tragedy if women follow them.”
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“Most of us work in places where a person who wants to block something has an easier route than a person who wants to accomplish something.”
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“The letter of application ... should be a masterpiece of fiction, papering over all the cracks. Get it properly typed on decent writing paper. Never let it run over the page, people get bored with reading.”
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“Always be nice to everyone in the firm on the way up. You never know who you may meet on the way down.”
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“Although it is the biggest time-waster in office life, you must never underrate the importance of the memo. You will be judged by the volume of your paper work.”
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“The memo's chief function ... is as a track-coverer, so that you can turn on someone six months later and snarl: 'Well, you should have known about it, I sent you a memo.' ”
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“Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake in the afternoon.”
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“Only the fittest will survive, and the fittest will be the ones who understand their office's politics.”
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“The fact is, you don't have to be brilliant, funny, nice, or sane to be successful in an office.”
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“Forget what organization experts tell you. Read it once, and if it has anything to do with you, keep it in a file at home. You will be very happy that you did”
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“It's okay to be unprofessional as long as you're professional about it.”
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“Filing is concerned with the past; anything you actually need to see again has to do with the future.”
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“I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center, but it's no place actually to get any work done.”
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“Although we may not realize it, or want to admit it, many of us bring our personal lives, with childhood's emotional baggage, to work every day with us, with far greater intensity than we bring work home at night.”
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“I think most working relationships could benefit by excluding personal matters from the office chatter.”
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“Contacts with colleagues, staff, and clients are a necessary and legitimate part of doing business. The trick is not getting bogged down with inopportune, unscheduled chats in the hallway or on the phone.”
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“Paper is perhaps the bane of our organizational existence, because paper is ubiquitous. Every day we are bombarded with, surrounded by, and submerged in an ever-increasing influx of printed material ...”
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“... some bosses are so greedy (for themselves only) they forget underlings are not thirteenth-century peasants who can be satisfied with a glass of mead and three festivals a year.”
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“The hours are rough in advertising — and in particular here at The Miller Agency. Mike Miller has a saying: if you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday.”
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“You can run the office without a boss, but you can't run an office without secretaries.”
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“Windows ... are as essential to office prestige as Christmas is to retailing.”
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“The coöperative tribute or gift is the bane of every school and office. The person who proposes it ought to be shot at sunrise as an example.”
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“[It's] the kind of desktop where passion is screwing organization and nobody's making the bed.”