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Meetings
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“I wonder how many of our tombstones will have to be inscribed with the epitaph 'Died of too many meetings'?”
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“Most meetings are too long, too dull, too unproductive — and too much a part of corporate life to be abandoned.”
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“Meetings ... are rather like cocktail parties. You don't want to go, but you're cross not to be asked.”
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“A lot of meetings are held to arrange when to have meetings. ... Meetings today are usually called conferences to make them sound more significant.”
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“Meetings that do not come off keep a character of their own. They stay as they were projected.”
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“The length of a meeting rises with the number of people present and the productiveness of a meeting falls with the square of the number of people present.”
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“Never dump a good idea on a conference table. It will belong to the conference.”
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“The most likely place to have your idea-pocket picked is at a meeting. ... Here an idea becomes public property the moment it hits the air waves.”
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“If enough meetings are held, the meetings become more important than the problem.”
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“All tragedies deal with fated meetings; how else could there be a play? Fate deals its stroke; sorrow is purged, or turned to rejoicing; there is death, or triumph; there has been a meeting, and a change. No one will ever make a tragedy — and that is as well, for one could not bear it — whose grief is that the principals never met.”
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“The length of time your boss spends talking at the morning staff meeting is directly proportional to how badly you want to take a nap.”
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“Never leave the room just before the PTA is nominating someone to chair a committee.”