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Knitting
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“You know you knit too much when ... You take knitting to a wedding, in case there's a little time before the bride comes down the aisle. Double points if you are the bride.”
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“You know you knit too much when ... You will check out a book from the library just because you heard that one of the characters knits.”
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“You know you knit too much when ... Before you buy anything, such as a hammock or curtains, you seriously wonder whether you could knit it.”
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“I'm a knitter. My projects are the ultimate in 'some assembly required.'”
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“It turns out I will buy any yarn, even yarn I will never use, if the store discounts it by more than 50 percent.”
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“In the nineteenth century, knitting was prescribed to women as a cure for nervousness and hysteria. Many new knitters find this sort of hard to believe because, until you get good at it, knitting seems to cause those ailments.”
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“When you are knitting socks and sweaters and scarves, you aren't just knitting. You are assigning a value to human effort. You are holding back time. You are preserving the simple unchanging act of handwork.”
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“There is no wrong way to knit. ... We should all agree to stop correcting each other and deal with the more important issue. How wrong crochet is.”
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“The first time you find yourself having a conversation about moss stitch with a group of people who aren't desperately trying to escape you ... it's like coming home.”
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“It is a little known fact that much like birds, who can always find north, knitters can always find yarn.”
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“The chances of running out of yarn on a project are directly related to the difficulty that you will have getting more.”
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“It is some kind of miracle that all knitting is constructed of only two stitches: knit and purl. Sure, you throw in some yarn overs, and sometimes you knit the stitches out of order, but when it really comes down to it, knitting is simplicity. The most incredible gossamer lace shawl ... the trickiest aran ... a humble sock ... each just made with knit and purl.”
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“'Heirloom' is knitting code for 'This pattern is so difficult that you would consider death a relief.'”
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“Knitting, Knitting, 1, 2, 3, / I knit the scarves for Roo and me; / I love honey and I love tea; / Knitting, Knitting, 1, 2, 3.”
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“Knitting is formed by a series of loops pulled through loops to the end of time or to 'desired length'. By picking up loops and working in the opposite direction you are really picking up the concavities between the loops, and it is sheer unexpected witchcraft that stocking stitch and garter stitch will permit such an anomaly. Be grateful for this and don't expect anymore.”
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“... properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit, either.”
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“For people allergic to wool, one's heart can only bleed.”
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“There is no right way to knit; there is no wrong way to knit. ... So if anybody kindly tells you that what you are doing is 'wrong,' don't take umbrage; they mean well. Smile submissively, and listen, keeping your disagreement on an entirely mental level.”
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“Really, all you need to become a good knitter are wool, needles, hands, and slightly below-average intelligence. Of course, superior intelligence, such as yours and mine, is an advantage.”
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“No matter which way you knit, do not let anyone tell you it is the wrong way. The method you find most comfortable is the method you should use.”
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“I always tell new knitters not to make a scarf their first project. It looks like an easy way to start ... But such a project doesn't teach the knitter anything except patience ...”
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“Knitting is not just a metaphor. Knitting is a life.”
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“Aunt Octavia was sitting in the front parlor, her hands working a pair of knitting needles like she meant to kill the sweater instead of knit it.”
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“Choosing your wool is dizzying with potential. The waves of colors and textures tempt with visions of a sweater or cap (and all the accompanying compliments you hope to receive) but don't reveal the hard work required to get there.”
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“The knit stitch is a series of flat, vertical loops that produces a knitted fabric face and the purl stitch is its reverse. One side is smooth, the other bumpy. Knit is what you show the world, purl is the soft, nubbly underside you keep close to the skin.”
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“From the seed of a pattern, the cotyledons of cast-on, everything rises: xylem and phloem of KP ribs, a trunk of a body and branches of sleeves, the skirt that bells downward daffodilwise. You with your needles are god of this wild botany.”
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“I've been knitting pretty continuously. It's addictive and it's soothing, and for a few minutes anyway, it makes me feel closer to my mother.”
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“You don't knit because you are patient. You are patient because you knit.”
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“Any knitter knows that a project poorly begun is doomed to fail.”
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“The lessons I first learned from knitting keep showing me this truth: that a kind of radical acceptance of error and an appreciation for our human capacity for resiliency — that's what's truly precious.”