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Epitaphs
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“I wonder how many of our tombstones will have to be inscribed with the epitaph 'Died of too many meetings'?”
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“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
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“[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.”
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“[Suggesting an epitaph for herself:] This is on me.”
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“God give me work / Till my life shall end / And life / Till my work is done.”
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“Oh, weep not for her! she has taken her flight, / From the valley of tears to the land of delight; / Oh, weep not for her! she is ransomed and blest; / Her warfare is over, her spirit at rest.”
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“[Suggesting her epitaph:] This is too deep for me.”
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“When you write my epitaph, you must say I was the loneliest person who ever lived.”
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“One day my life will end; and lest / Some whim should prompt you to review it, / Let her who knows the subject best / Tell you the shortest way to do it; / Then say, 'Here lies one doubly blest.' / Say, 'She was happy.'”
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“And when I lie in the green kirkyard, / With the mold upon my breast, / Say not that 'She did well — or ill,' / Only, 'She did her best!'”
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“[On an epitaph for herself:] Under here, we're all equal.”
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“[On always needing her beauty sleep:] Go away — I'm asleep.”
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“[Epitaph:] Shed not for her the bitter tear / Nor give the heart to vain regret. / 'Tis but the casket that lies here. / The gem that fills it sparkles yet.”