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Cancer
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“A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog grabbed it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling 'Hey, come back here with my breast!'”
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“Cancer is a demonic pregnancy.”
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“Once you are diagnosed with cancer, time changes. It both speeds up insanely and stops altogether.”
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“[On her mastectomy:] Fact is, I'm the same car I always was, except now I have a dent in my fender.”
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“Like an animal, cancer sleeps, prowls, hibernates, turns surly or placid.”
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“Like any of life's refining fires, cancer is a potentially profound learning experience. So what did I learn? I learned that profound learning experiences are vastly overrated.”
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“[After a double mastectomy:] I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.”
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“... fear of cancer is a fear of the unknown. It is a mysterious blackness with a ghoul's name and a sadist's reputation.”
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“An individual doesn't get cancer, a family does.”