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Canada
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“... the personality of St. John's, Newfoundland, hits you like a smack in the face with a dried cod, enthusiastically administered by its citizenry.”
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“If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.”
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“The beginning of Canadian cultural nationalism was not 'Am I really that oppressed?' but 'Am I really that boring?'”
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“Canadians and Americans may look alike, but the contents of their heads are quite different. Americans experience themselves, individually, as small toads in the biggest and most powerful puddle in the world. Their sense of power comes from identifying with the puddle. Canadians as individuals may have more power within the puddle, since there are fewer toads in it; it's the puddle that's seen as powerless.”
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“Americans don't usually have to think about Canadian-American relations, or, as they would put it, American-Canadian relations. Why think about something which you believe affects you so little? We, on the other hand, have to think about you whether we like it or not.”
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“Canada is a country where nothing seems ever to happen. A country always dressed in its Sunday go-to-meeting clothes. A country you wouldn't ask to dance a second waltz. Clean. Christian. Dull. Quiescent. But growing. Yes, it must be admitted, the Dominion is growing.”
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“Never shall I forget those naked, clean-swept little Canadian towns, one just like the other. Before I was twelve years old, I must have lived in fifty of them.”
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“Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland.”
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“The Canadians have declared that domestic violence is not a feminist issue but a matter of human rights.”
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“For some reason, a glaze passes over people's faces when you say Canada.”
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“Canada is bounded on the north by gold; on the west by the East; on the east by history; and on the south by friends.”
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“Canada is useful only to provide me with furs.”