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Diana Jordan
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“Men are simple things. They can survive the whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts, and batteries for the remote control.”
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“There's a commercial where guys sit around drinking beer, cleaning fish, wiping their noses on their sleeves and saying 'It doesn't get any better than this.' That's not a commercial. That's a warning.”
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“Don't think you can get a man to do what you want just by dressing sexy. If you do that, all he wants is sex. If you really want a man to listen to you, dress like his mother.”