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Carol Burnett
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“Words, once they're printed, have a life of their own.”
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“Comedy is tragedy plus time.”
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“I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.”
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“... there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home.”
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“I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?”
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“Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.”
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“Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.”
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“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.”
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“Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.”
Carol Burnett, U.S. actor, comedian, singer, writer
(1933)
Full name: Carol Creighton Burnett.