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“I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? This is my idea of a great day!”
“Juries scare me. I don't want to put my fate in the hands of twelve people who couldn't get out of jury duty.”
“A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.”
“I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways. I make them wear little hats so I can use the carpool lanes.”
Monica Piper, U.S. comedy writer, comedian
Born: May Lee Davis.