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Abigail Van Buren

  • A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • syndicated column ()
  • The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can't fight back.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • Wisdom does not automatically come with old age. Nothing does — except wrinkles.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • The less you talk, the more you're listened to.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • It is almost impossible to throw dirt on someone without getting a little on yourself.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • Never give anyone an ultimatum unless you are prepared to lose.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • It's only work if you would rather be doing something else.

  • [When asked if she thought much about dying:] No, it's the last thing I want to do.

  • Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • There are two kinds of people in the world — those who walk into a room and say, 'There you are' — and those who say, 'Here I am!'

    • Abigail Van Buren
  • Women who miscalculate are called mothers.

    • Abigail Van Buren
  • If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.

    • Abigail Van Buren
  • A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project.

    • Abigail Van Buren
  • You are what you are when nobody is looking.

    • Abigail Van Buren
  • While forbidden fruit is said to taste sweeter, it usually spoils faster.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

    • Abigail Van Buren
  • If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" synidicated column ()
  • Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you're supervised or not; finish a job once it's started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • Men who miscalculate are called 'mathematically challenged.' Women who miscalculate are called 'mothers.'

    • Abigail Van Buren,
    • "Dear Abby" syndicated column ()
  • Loneliness is the ultimate poverty.

    • Abigail Van Buren

Abigail Van Buren, U.S. advice columnist

(1918 - 2013)

Full name: Pauline Esther Friedman Phillips. Her column was called “Dear Abby.”