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Melody Beattie
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“There are almost as many definitions of codependency as there are experiences that represent it. ... my definition of a codependent: A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior.”
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“If we are unhappy without a relationship, we'll probably be unhappy with one as well. A relationship doesn't begin our life; a relationship doesn't become our life. A relationship is a continuation of life.”
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“We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more.”
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“Few situations — no matter how greatly they appear to demand it — can be bettered by us going beserk.”
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“Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.”
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“What's a codependent? The answer's easy. They're some of the most loving, caring people I know.”
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“Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.”
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“Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems.”
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“Caring works. Caretaking doesn't. We can learn to walk the line between the two.”
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“It's so easy to look around and notice what's wrong. It takes practice to see what's right.”
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“Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.”
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“Panic is our great enemy.”
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“The more we learn to love and respect ourselves, the more we will become attracted to people who will love and respect us and who we can safely love and respect.”
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“Control is an illusion ...”
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“Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.”
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“It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good.”
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“If we are waiting for guaranteed courses of action, we may spend much of our life waiting.”
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“... the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become.”
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“Panic, not the task, is the enemy.”
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“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Gratitude makes things right.”
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“Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power.”
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“No — simple to pronounce, hard to say.”
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“This moment, we are right where we need to be, right where we are meant to be.”
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“We don't have to do it any better than we can — ever. Do our best for the moment, then let it go. If we have to redo it, we can do our best in another moment, later.”
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“Striving for excellence is a positive quality. Striving for perfection is self-defeating.”
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“Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out — in us, in someone else, in the Universe.”
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“Money is not evil. There is no scarcity, except in our mind and attitudes. And what we believe we deserve will be about what we shall receive.”
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“... there are no knights on white horses, no magical grandmothers in the sky watching, waiting to rescue us. Teachers may come our way, but they will not rescue. They will teach. People who care will come, but they will not rescue. They will care. Help will come, but help is not rescuing. We are our own rescuers. Our relationships will improve dramatically when we stop rescuing others and stop expecting them to rescue us.”
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“We cannot change others, but when we change ourselves, we may end up changing the world.”
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“Writing forces consciousness.”
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“We have as much time as we need.”
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“... each moment in time we have it all, even when we think we don't.”
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“When our heart is broken, we can't hear it. And when we can't hear our heart, we can't hear God.”
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“... I've learned that I have many, many soul mates here, and they come to me at the right time and in the right place. They come to help me when I'm lost, and each comes with different sets of lessons for me — usually, always, my most intense lessons — the ones my soul came here to learn.”
Melody Beattie, U.S. writer, counselor
(1948)
Full name: Melody Lynn Beattie.