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“I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I lost is two weeks.”
“Happiness is getting a brown gravy stain on a brown dress.”
“I break all the rules and wear everything. Ruffles, ostrich feathers, fox coats. You look fat in fox anyway, so if you start fat, you only look a little fatter.”
Totie Fields, U.S. comedian
(1931 - 1978)
Real name: Sophie Feldman.