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“I just broke up with someone after three years. It was a love-hate thing. We both loved him and hated me.”
“I believe in reincarnation. I've had other lives. I know. I have clues. First of all, I'm exhausted.”
“Who invented cottage cheese? And how did they know when they were done?”
“When I think of some of the men I've slept with — if they were women, I wouldn't have had lunch with them.”
“I can't cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer.”
“What is Victoria's Secret? My guess is that she likes to dress like a slut.”
Carol Siskind, U.S. comedian
Full name: Andrea Carol Siskind.