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Amy Borkowsky

  • ... Cousin Myron passed a kidney stone, and the doctors told him it's from not drinking enough water, which is why I'm telling you. Remember, honey, you're not a camel. They say that passing a stone feels like you're giving birth. And if you're gonna go through all that, I'd like to end up with something that can call me Grandma.

  • ... in the event of a crash, you should put your chest to your knees and scrunch your whole body into a ball. Now if you're in coach, aren't you already sitting that way?

Amy Borkowsky, U.S. writer, comedian