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Fanny Brice
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“Anyone who can't say blank is deceitful.”
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“Your audience gives you everything you need. They tell you. There is no director who can direct you like an audience.”
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“I come out before an audience and maybe my house burned down an hour ago, maybe my husband stayed out all night, but I stand there. ... I got them with me, right there in my hand and comfortable. That's my job, to make them comfortable, because if they wanted to be nervous they could have stayed home and added up their bills.”
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“... I never liked the men I loved, and never loved the men I liked.”
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“I think love is like a card trick. After you know how it works, it's no fun any more.”
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“[On childbirth:] Like pushing a piano through a transom.”
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“Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown, and they only want you to make them laugh.”
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“[On her nose job:] He just wanted to get that knife into me. He'd cut you if you had dandruff.”
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“Without love it is like having a good song without an audience.”
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“When love is out of your life, you're through in a way. Because while it is there it's like a motor that's going, you have such vitality to do things, big things, because love is goosing you all the time.”
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“Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?”
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“[Acting advice to Helen Hayes:] If you cry, they don't.”
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“[On Esther Williams:] Wet she's a star, dry she ain't.”
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“I've done everything in the theatre except marry a property man.”
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“For ten thousand dollars, I'd endorse an opium pipe.”
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“A verbal agreement is not worth the paper it's written on.”
Fanny Brice, U.S. actor, comedian, singer
(1891 - 1951)
Full name: Fanny Borach Brice.