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Bette Midler

  • If you live in Beverly Hills they don't put blinkers in your car. They figure if you're that rich you don't have to tell people where you're going.

  • ... there were some initial difficulties when the director first told me the disappointing news that if the film was to have any semblance of reality at all there would have to be moments when other people were on screen at the same time I was.

  • For days on end, I would hardly speak, and when I did only the vilest sort of gibberish would spout forth. I became morose and fat. Unapproachable, except when eating — and then only by waiters.

  • Here I am, one of the most colorful women of my time — if not of my block — being made to sound positively legumelike in printed interviews.

  • I never know how much of what I say is true. If I did, I'd bore myself to death.

  • People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.

  • If I don't feel right about what I'm in, I don't feel right about anything.

  • ... before one actually visits them, everyone tends to think of their favorite countries as one grand Disneyland filled with national monuments and historical treasures conveniently laid out for easy viewing, when what they really are filled with, of course, is people going to work, laundromats and places to buy rat poison.

  • [On Denmark:] ... that little country of cottage cheese and courage ...

  • Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

  • After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in Reader's Digest ()
  • [On Princess Anne:] Such an active, outdoorsy lass. She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in James Spada, The Divine Bette Middler ()
  • ... when it's three o'clock in New York, it's 1938 in London.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in James Spada, The Divine Bette Middler ()
  • I'm the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in Funny Women ()
  • These days, you fuck someone, your arm drops off.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in The Independent ()
  • There's a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don't really do with your family.

    • Bette Midler,
    • quoted by Tom Seligson, in Parade ()
  • The [film] business is run by men, and they're basically interested in their own species, and they're not so interested in women belonging to the human race.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in The New York Times ()
  • The [film] industry is an ecosystem that's sick.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in The New York Times ()
  • The worst part of success is to try finding someone who is happy for you.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in Trevor Hunt, Words From the Stars ()
  • [On Helen Reddy:] She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in Trevor Hunt, Words From the Stars ()
  • I married a Kraut. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me.

    • Bette Midler,
    • in Mark Bego, Bette Midler: Still Divine ()
  • I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.

    • Bette Midler
  • If somebody makes me laugh, I'm his slave for life.

    • Bette Midler
  • If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier.

    • Bette Midler
  • I think most of us are torn. We have at least two people at war in our body. One person wants to retire and grow fabulous tomatoes, and the other wants to stand up on a pedestal and be worshipped and get bigger and bigger and bigger until she explodes.

    • Bette Midler
  • I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.

    • Bette Midler
  • If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?

    • Bette Midler
  • Cherish Forever What Makes You Unique / Cause You're Really a Yawn When It Goes!

  • It's the Point of Your View that Decides What You See — / One Man's Flop Is Another Man's Hit. / From Manners to Movies, the Picture Keeps Changing / Depending Upon Where You Sit.

  • Total contentment is only for cows.

Bette Midler, U.S. singer, actor, comedian