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Mary Wilson Little

  • Musicians are divided into two classes — those who like to hear themselves play and those who like to hear themselves sing.

  • The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.

  • It is difficult to tell which gives some couples the most happiness, the minister who marries them, or the judge who divorces them.

  • Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol, except health, happiness, and money.

  • The penalty of success is to be bored by the attentions of people who formerly snubbed you.

  • It is remarkable how generous fishermen are. When you meet a man who has returned from a fishing trip he always tells you that he gave his share to the other fellow.

  • In some parts of Ireland the sleep which knows no waking is always followed by a wake which knows no sleeping.

  • There is no harm in eating corn off the cob; the impoliteness consists in looking at the person who is doing it.

  • When the unpaid grocer comes in at the door romance flies out of the window.

  • Men who make no pretensions to being good on one day out of seven are called sinners.

  • Family picnics are made up of parents, children, sisters, cousins, and ants.

  • There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do — and not doing it.

  • A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.

  • No man feels like laughing when he bumps his funny-bone.

  • If a mosquito bite thee on one hand, give him the other — palm downward.

  • Politeness is only one-half good manners and the other half good lying.

  • He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become as wise at sixty as he thought himself at twenty.

  • Politeness may be nothing but veneering, but a veneered slab has the advantage of being without splinters.

  • If the pen is mightier than the sword, why are not editors paid more than major-generals?

Mary Wilson Little, U.S. writer

Mary Wilson Little wrote only the one book (apparently) and there’s no (apparent) information on her.