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Self-Betrayal

  • ... each time that I have run away — and from a habit it quickly became an illness — I have betrayed someone. Myself, but not always only myself.

  • No one betrays us as much in our lives as we betray ourselves.

  • How much of my true self I camouflage and choke in order to commend myself to him, denying the fullness of me. How often have I paraded sweetness and interest when I felt otherwise; pretended to take careful leave of him on many an occasion when I would rather have walked right out. How I've toned myself down, diluted myself to maintain his approval.

  • I was willing to pay any price including subservience to secure this love, hoping that with each piece of myself I gave up he would be so pleased that he, too, would be transformed.

  • Too often when I am with other people I hand over my freedom and values as if they are the price of admission to companionship. I expect others to be as harsh with me as the critic living in my mind — the critic with my mother's voice.

  • Humiliation is a guest that only comes to those who have made ready his resting-place, and will give him a fair welcome. ... no one can disgrace you save yourself.