Welcome to the web’s most comprehensive site of quotations by women. 44,279 quotations are searchable by topic, by author's name, or by keyword. Many of them appear in no other collection. And new ones are added continually.

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Jokes

  • A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

  • A joke is a joke or the image of a truth ...

  • ... a short cut to matrimonial unhappiness is not to have the same taste in jokes!

  • There is nothing in the world so incomprehensible as the joke we do not see.

  • No one has called so far, but one old lady to look at a house. I directed her to the cemetery to spare expense of moving.

    • Emily Dickinson,
    • 1863, in Mabel Loomis Todd, ed., Letters of Emily Dickinson, vol. 2 ()
  • The truth I do not dare to know / I muffle with a jest.

    • Emily Dickinson,
    • 1895, in Thomas H. Johnson, ed., The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson ()
  • When George died, his friends inquired did he leave his wife much. 'Almost every night,' wailed his wife.

  • On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, 'Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and irresistible to women you are?' 'Why, no,' said the husband, flattered. 'Then what the hell gave you that idea at the party?' she yelled.

  • ... the announcement that you are going to tell a good story (and the chuckle that precedes it) is always a dangerous opening.

  • ... jokes are ideally pleasurable. They are an act of assassination without a corpse, a moment of total annihilation that paradoxically makes anything possible.

  • If everyone laughs and your joke isn't funny, you must be the boss.