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Dentists

  • Beastly things, teeth. Give us trouble from the cradle to the grave.

  • There are only two kinds of men who become dentists. The ones who love it and ones who get miserable. Think round and you'll see I'm right.

  • Women sometimes sort of like the dentist, if the truth be told. Here's a guy with immaculately clean hands, standing with his pelvis pressed against your beating heart. He is talking to you in a soothing voice, gently wiping your cheeks, looking into your eyes, saying things like, 'Great, you're doing just great ... ' and he gives you drugs whenever you want them. Admit it. This is ten times more pleasant than most of the dates you've had in recent years.

  • No woman is a heroine to her dentist.

  • He got into my mouth along with a pickaxe and telescope, battering-ram and other instruments, and drove a lawn-cutting machine up and down my jaws for a couple of hours. When he came out he said he meant wonderful improvements, and it seems I'm to have a bridge and a mill-wheel and summit and crown of gold, and harps, and Lord knows what, better than new.

    • Susan Hale,
    • letter (1907), in Caroline P. Atkinson, ed., Letters of Susan Hale ()
  • My snail possessed around 2,640 teeth ... It seemed far more sensible to belong to a species that had evolved natural tooth replacement, than to belong to one that had developed the dental profession.

  • How odd it is that these cavities always seem so large. I feel as if I could put my head into this one.

    • Dorothy L. Sayers,
    • title story, In the Teeth of the Evidence and Other Stories ()