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Cancer

  • A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog grabbed it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling 'Hey, come back here with my breast!'

  • Cancer is a demonic pregnancy.

  • Once you are diagnosed with cancer, time changes. It both speeds up insanely and stops altogether.

  • [On her mastectomy:] Fact is, I'm the same car I always was, except now I have a dent in my fender.

  • Like an animal, cancer sleeps, prowls, hibernates, turns surly or placid.

  • Like any of life's refining fires, cancer is a potentially profound learning experience. So what did I learn? I learned that profound learning experiences are vastly overrated.

  • [After a double mastectomy:] I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

  • ... fear of cancer is a fear of the unknown. It is a mysterious blackness with a ghoul's name and a sadist's reputation.

  • An individual doesn't get cancer, a family does.

  • Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that.

    • Molly Ivins,
    • in Bill Minutaglio, Molly Ivins: A Rebel Life ()