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Linda Sunshine

"A basic rule of baking is that, in general, it's almost impossible to make an inedible batch of brownies."

Linda Sunshine, Plain Jane's Thrill of Very Fattening Foods Cookbook (1984)

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"... desserts are the most crucial part of any meal."

Linda Sunshine, Plain Jane's Thrill of Very Fattening Foods Cookbook (1984)

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"When shopping at Dunkin' Donuts, pretend you are the mother of nine. Say things like, 'Little David likes cream-filled and Susie wanted jelly.' That way, no one will be suspicious when you order a dozen donuts with one cup of coffee to go."

Linda Sunshine, Plain Jane's Thrill of Very Fattening Foods Cookbook (1984)

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"There are three very good reasons to travel: 1. See the world. 2. Meet new people. 3. Room service."

Linda Sunshine, Plain Jane's Thrill of Very Fattening Foods Cookbook (1984)

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"Tip the world over and everything loose falls into L.A."

Linda Sunshine, The Memoirs of Bambi Goldbloom: (Or, Growing Up in New Jersey) (1987)

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"I discovered, quite early in motherhood, that the longest and most painful deliveries occur when you give birth to stepchildren."

Linda Sunshine, The Memoirs of Bambi Goldbloom: (Or, Growing Up in New Jersey) (1987)

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"... I wasn't very good about the pain. I started screaming for painkillers after the third contraction and didn't stop until my daughter was eating solid food."

Linda Sunshine, The Memoirs of Bambi Goldbloom: (Or, Growing Up in New Jersey) (1987)

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"I will not go out with a man who wears more jewelry than me, and I'll never, ever go to bed with a guy who calls me Babe. Other than that, however, I'm real flexible."

Linda Sunshine, Women Who Date Too Much (And Those Who Should Be So Lucky) (1988)

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"If you're willing to travel, or just super-desperate, the best place in the world to meet unattached men is on the Alaska pipeline. I'm told that the trek through the frozen tundra is well worth the effect for any woman who wants to know what it feels like to be Victoria Principal."

Linda Sunshine, Women Who Date Too Much (And Those Who Should Be So Lucky) (1988)

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"As we move closer and closer to a nonsexist world, women will have an equal opportunity as men to be rejected, embarrassed, and humiliated beyond all consolation."

Linda Sunshine, Women Who Date Too Much (And Those Who Should Be So Lucky) (1988)

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"It's surely one of the strange phenomena of this decade that the most thoughtful gift you can bring a date is not flowers, chocolates, or ankle-length pearls, but a note from your doctor."

Linda Sunshine, Women Who Date Too Much (And Those Who Should Be So Lucky) (1988)

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"... the three most common myths of modern romance: 1. Single men would prefer being married. 2. Married men actually leave their wives. 3. Men who wear gold chains give gold rings."

Linda Sunshine, Women Who Date Too Much (And Those Who Should Be So Lucky) (1988)

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"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"Changing schools and friends is hard on children and can often make them desperate and lonely enough to form closer ties with a sibling."

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good."

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"Your sister is the only creature on earth who shares your heritage, history, environment, DNA, bone structure, and contempt for stupid Aunt Gertie."

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"My sister taught me everything I really need to know, and she was only in sixth grade at the time."

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"... every one of us possesses a gene predisposing us toward rivalry, competition, and fits of envy with any past, present, or future siblings."

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"Some sisters are better at pretending to share than others, but for the majority, if any sibling had her way, she would get everything and her sister would be allowed bread and water and maybe one of the Raggedy Ann dolls with the button eyes. If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: 'Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma.'"

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"A careful blending of sarcasm, irony, and teasing, bickering has its own distinctive cadence and rhythm and is as difficult to master as French, Spanish, or any elective second language. Like Chinese, the fine points of bickering can be discerned in the subtle rise and fall of the voice. If not practiced properly, bickering can be mistaken for its less sophisticated counterpart: whining."

Linda Sunshine, "Mom Loves Me Best" (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister) (1990)

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"Our mother's first gift to us comes at the moment we are born, because Mom, as she will subsequently remind us over and over, gives us the Gift of Life Like many of the gifts we receive from our mothers, the Gift of Life usually doesn't fit properly and is almost never returnable without a major hassle."

Linda Sunshine, How Not to Turn Into Your Mother (1991)

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"'Who wrote the book of love' we all wonder. 'And why are there so many typos?'"

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"As for breaking up, once the relationship is over, you never really know what went wrong; you just feel nauseous whenever the subject comes to mind. After a plane crash there's the black box that tells the FAA what caused the crack-up. Too bad there's no black box of relationships."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"Almost everything can be construed as sexual harassment depending upon the way it is said. One general rule of thumb is to think of your female co-workers as you would your sister. Yes, she is a woman. No, she is not a sexual object. Yes, your parents probably like her more than they like you."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"Major fluctuations in weight gain and loss are detrimental to your health and embarrassing to explain to your friends and family."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"Looking young and attractive with makeup is the next best thing to actually being young and attractive. After all, a woman only has a few years where she really is youthful, but she can wear foundation makeup til the day she dies (and even after!)."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"Sex is probably the most fun you can have in life without gaining weight or having a hangover the next day."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"After living with Richard, I discovered that men are only good at cleaning stuff they can hose down."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"I could be a millionaire if I knew how to make stuff and wasn't afraid of electricity."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"The strongest common bond between the genders is the universally acknowledged truth that both men and women are unhappy with their hair."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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"Single people slip out of the dating market for many social, economic, psychological, and ideological reasons including marriage, illness, bankruptcy, job promotion, exhaustion, and common sense. Inevitably, however, they return because of divorce, boredom, loneliness, and memory loss."

Linda Sunshine, Dating Iron John and Other Pleasures (1993)

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Linda Sunshine, U.S. writer, editor, film-to-books writer
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