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Margaret Cho

  • Comedy was all I ever wanted.

  • No wonder all the great comedians had such destructive private lives. ... After you get the audience into that kind of frenzy, and you are being worshiped like the false idol you are, how do you leave the stage and transition back into real life? ... What is there left to do but set yourself on fire?

  • Pot is an insidious drug because it can steal your life away from you, without you even being aware of it. I had a love affair with pot for ten years. Pot was my most devoted partner.

  • [Smoking] was a comfort, an occupation, a drug, a casual habit, a distraction, a way to not eat, a way to not pay attention, a way to not feel.

  • Let's not hate ourselves. We are all we have. ... I have been a longtime perpetrator of hate crimes against myself, and I am turning myself in. I have had enough.

  • I feel sorry for anyone that I am obsessed with. I am worse than gum in your hair, very, very close to the roots.

  • He spoke of us as if we were a kind of New Age Zelda and F. Scott — diving into the hotel fountains without care or repercussions, thinking we were beautiful and damned when actually we were just okay-looking and pathetic.

  • My attitude toward peace does not depend on which war we are discussing. I think that words should do the work of bombs.

  • ... to some men, the definition of selfish is that you don't think about them all the time.

  • That we are selfish gives us the opportunity to gain the power so that, in time, we might be selfless. To give back what we have learned. To teach what we know, and shorten the journey for those who will come after us.

  • Over half the world menstruates at one time or another, but you'd never know it. Isn't that strange?

  • It's not the best between my family and me. There are so many crimes left unpunished, debts unpaid, white elephants in the middle of the room that no one will even offer a peanut to. We are in the red, emotionally speaking.

  • Strange, there's so much religion in the world, but only enough to make us fight over who is right, not enough to make us love one another.

  • ... these Christians today don't represent the Christianity I know. I want Jesus to come back and say, 'That's not what I meant!'

  • And if the problem [with contraception] is promiscuity, then why does the immense popularity of Viagra go unchecked? Doesn't it make more sense to leave the bullets out of the gun than to try to avoid being shot? Especially when the gun is an old musket, and you have to clean it out and tamp down gunpowder, melt down scraps of lead and pour it into a mold, wait for it to cool — only to have it take forever to finally go off?

  • ... Los Angeles [is] possibly the rudest city in the nation, with a population that is exceedingly unhelpful. Once I was screamed at by the operator manning the 911 switchboard for trying to report a dead body I had seen on the street. Apparently, I was not the first caller, and somehow I should have known that.

  • Humanity is a natural foil for inhumanity, and humanity is what will ultimately keep us going when all else has failed.

  • Most conservatives also believe in the death penalty, but not abortion, which proves they like to procrastinate.

  • I don't like pot anymore — I forget why.

    • Margaret Cho
  • I urge you all today, especially today during these times of chaos and war, to love yourself without reservations and to love each other without restraint. Unless you're into leather.

    • Margaret Cho
  • Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone's life forever.

    • Margaret Cho
  • I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.

    • Margaret Cho
  • [Asked by a Korean reporter if her Korean parents were ashamed of her performances:] I don't think they're ashamed because they're Korean. I think any parents would be ashamed.

  • Monogamy is so weird. Like when you know their name and stuff.

    • Margaret Cho,
    • Revolution ()

Margaret Cho, U.S. comedian, activist, actor, singer-songwriter

(1968)

Born: Moran Cho.