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Heidi Joyce
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“My mom is very possessive. She calls me up and says, 'You weren't home last night. Is something going on?' I say, 'Yeah, Mom, I'm cheating on you with another mother.'”
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“I can't stand makeup commercials. 'Do you need a lipstick that keeps your lips kissable?' No. I need a lipstick that gets me equal pay for equal work. How about eye shadow that makes me stop thinking I'm too fat?”