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Lynne Alpern
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“Now I know your marriage will last. You've been together long enough to be on your second bottle of Tabasco sauce.”
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“My wedding was not mine, it was my mother's. Yours will be mine.”
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“Don't believe the statistics unless you know the statistician.”
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“More people have died from bigotry than any other disease.”
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“The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight, because your body has made friends with your fat.”
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“Narrow-minded people are like narrow-necked bottles ... the less they have in them, the more noise they make pouring it out.”
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“Sometimes the best thing you can do is just listen. Other times the best thing you can do is not to.”
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“God gave you two eyes, two ears and one mouth. So you should watch and listen twice as much as you talk.”
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“A nurse is caught between the doctor's invincibility and the patient's vulnerability.”
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“Why should I be reasonable? I'm your mother.”
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“A baby sister is nicer than a goat. You'll get used to her.”
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“You can laugh or you can cry, but if you laugh, you won't have to blow your nose.”