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Barbara Johnson

  • Our thoughts, deeds, and words return to us sooner or later with astonishing accuracy.

  • Old florists never die. They just make other arrangements.

  • ... violets are God's apology for February ...

  • Being codependent means that when you die, someone else's life passes before your eyes.

  • ... kids are like sponges — they absorb all your strength and leave you limp, but give them a squeeze and you get it all back!

  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to go there right away.

  • ... I think living to be one hundred would be great, but living to fifty twice would be so much better.

  • The secret of growing younger is counting blessings, not birthdays.

  • My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

  • Your face is a billboard advertising your philosophy of life!

  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

  • Have we forgotten that we're all born the same way: naked, wet, and hungry? Then things get worse!

  • You can't climb the ladder of life with your hands in your pockets.

  • My karma just ran over my dogma.

  • A lot of kneeling keeps one in good standing.

  • Motherhood: if it were going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

  • The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

Barbara Johnson, U.S. writer

(1947 - 2009)