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Alice Roosevelt Longworth

  • [Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

  • My specialty is detached malevolence.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Newsweek ()
  • You can't make soufflé rise twice.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • 1948, in James T. Patterson, Mr. Republican ()
  • I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Peter Passell and Leonard Ross, The Best ()
  • [Her motto, embroidered on a pillow:] If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Jean Vanden Heuvel, "The Sharpest Wit in Washington," Saturday Evening Post ()
  • [After a double mastectomy:] I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Michael Teague, Mrs. L.: Conversations With Alice Roosevelt Longworth ()
  • ... the secret of youth is arrested development.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in "Alice Roosevelt Longworth," American Heritage ()
  • Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Michael Teague, Mrs. L.: Conversations With Alice Roosevelt Longworth ()
  • [On Theodore Roosevelt:] My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Cleveland Amory and Earl Blackwell, eds., Celebrity Register ()
  • People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.

  • [On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Meg Greenfield, Washington ()
  • [On her purse:] Half filing cabinet, half psychosis.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Jean Vanden Heuvel, "The Sharpest Wit in Washington," Saturday Evening Post ()
  • [On Wendell Willkie:] Willkie sprang from the grass roots of American country clubs.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Howard Teichmann, Alice: The Life and Times of Alice Roosevelt Longworth ()
  • [After a politician said 'I'd rather be right than president,' she commented, presumably about her hard-drinking husband:] He would rather be tight than president.

    • Alice Roosevelt Longworth,
    • in Carol Felsenthal, Alice Roosevelt Longworth ()

Alice Roosevelt Longworth, U.S. public figure

(1984 - 1880)