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Alice Roosevelt Longworth
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“[Remark about Calvin Coolidge she says was erroneously attributed to her:] I do wish he did not look as if he had been weaned on a pickle.”
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“My specialty is detached malevolence.”
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“You can't make soufflé rise twice.”
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“I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.”
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“[Her motto, embroidered on a velvet cushion:] If you haven't got anything good to say about anyone come and sit by me.”
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“[After a double mastectomy:] I'm the only topless octogenarian in Washington.”
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“... the secret of youth is arrested development.”
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“Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom.”
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“[On Theodore Roosevelt:] Father wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening.”
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“People in Washington seem as hypnotized by precedence as though they were hens with their beaks on a chalk line.”
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“[On Washington, D.C.:] a town of successful men and the women they married before they were successful.”
Alice Roosevelt Longworth, U.S. public figure
(1984 - 1880)