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Joan Crawford

  • [To the mother of two unruly children in a restaurant after the woman said she really didn't know what to do with her children:] Have you tried infanticide?

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • [On her autobiography:] I'm a goddam image, not a person, and the poor girl who worked on it had to write about the image. ... I think she'd have been better off with Lassie.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • My God, I'm four hundred years old and the most I can do is look three hundred.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • ... all that time hanging around the sets, watching Norma Shearer make the most of her three expressions, was a help.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • We were so totally owned by the studio we could have had 'Property of MGM' tattoed on our backsides without raising the slightest objection.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • ... we even believed our own publicity.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • Then there's that 'You're only as old as you feel' business, which is true to a point, but you can't be Shirley Temple on the Good Ship Lollipop forever. Sooner or later, dammit, you're old.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • Well, we can skip childhood because I didn't have any. Not one goddam moment on the Good Ship Lollipop.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • Life deals from the bottom, sometimes, doesn't it?

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Roy Newquist, Conversations With Joan Crawford ()
  • The most important thing a woman can have — next to talent, of course — is her hairdresser.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Doug McClelland, Star Speak ()
  • Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Doug McClelland, Star Speak ()
  • I never go out unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Trevor Hunt, Words From the Stars ()
  • [Clause in her will:] It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina for reasons which are well known to them.

    • Joan Crawford,
    • in Laura Ward, ed., Famous Last Words ()
  • [On entertaining at home:] Another important party secret is I always add a splash of vodka to everything. Nobody ever knows and everyone ends up having a wonderful time.

    • Joan Crawford

Joan Crawford, U.S. actor, businesswoman

(1905 - 1977)

Real name: Lucille Fay Le Sueur.