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Moms Mabley

  • A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

    • Moms Mabley,
    • in New York Daily News ()
  • Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

    • Moms Mabley,
    • in Boze Hadleigh, Hollywood Babble On ()
  • He was so ugly, honest to goodness, he hurt my feelings.

    • Moms Mabley
  • [On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

    • Moms Mabley,
    • in Mary Unterbrink, Funny Women: American Comediennes, 1860-1985 ()
  • They say you shouldn't say nothing about the dead unless it's good. He's dead. Good.

    • Moms Mabley
  • [On teaching children how to cross the street:] Damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

    • Moms Mabley,
    • "Behind the Laughter of Jackie (Moms) Mabley," in Ebony ()
  • [On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.

    • Moms Mabley,
    • in Mary Unterbrink, Funny Women: American Comediennes, 1860-1985 ()
  • There ain't nothing an old man can do for me except bring me a message from a young one.

    • Moms Mabley
  • Anybody who acts normal nowadays, they're probably just not well.

    • Moms Mabley
  • If I go too fast, I'll run into something. If I go too slow, something'll run into me.

    • Moms Mabley
  • I was walking down 126th Street on my way to work. Met a fella. He said, 'Moms, I hate this. I really hate this, but, Moms, gimme some money! I ain't got no home. I ain't got no family, no children, no wife! My mother, my father are dead! Moms, gimme some money! I ain't got nowhere to eat. I ain't got nowhere to sleep. I ain't got nothin', Moms. But this gun.'

    • Moms Mabley

Moms Mabley, U.S. comedian

(1894 - 1975)

Name: Jackie “Moms” Mabley was born Loretta Mary Aiken.