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Helen Rowland

"When you see a married couple coming down the street, the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one that's mad."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"From the day on which she weighs 140, the chief excitement of a woman's life consists in spotting women who are fatter than she is."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"When perfect frankness comes in at the door love flies out of the window."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"When a man makes a woman his wife, it's the highest compliment he can pay her -- and usually it's the last."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"'Home' is any four walls that enclose the right person."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks so easy until you try it."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -- a custom which is still continued."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"Matrimony is the price of love -- divorce, the rebate."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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" It's easier to hide your light under a bushel than to keep your shady side dark."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second and his follies last."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"It's as hard to get a man to stay home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of one."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"Variety is the spice of love."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"A confirmed bachelor girl is one who hasn't married -- yet."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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" A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"The material for this book was collected directly from nature at great personal risk by the author."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Somehow, a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever!"

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"A fool and her money are soon courted."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"True Love can be no deeper than your capacity for friendship, no higher than your ideals, and no broader than the scope of your vision."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common-sense."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Marriage -- A souvenir of love."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Reno! The land of the free and the grave of the home!"

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"There are only two kinds of perfectly faultless men -- the dead and the deadly."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her imagination, and then they both speak of it as an affair of 'the heart.'"

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!'"

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Jealousy is the tie that binds -- and binds -- and binds."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"To Fannie Hurst, who has discovered the secret of how to be happy, though wedded to an art and to a man at the same time."

Helen Rowland, dedication page, Guide to Men (1922)

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"Oh yes, there is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son -- and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Woman's love -- a mirror in which a man beholds himself glorified, magnified and deified."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her -- when nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Love is a matter of give and take -- marriage, a matter of misgive and mistake. "

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him -- the sympathetic woman gets him."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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" Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"The follies which a man regrets the most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"The hardest thing in life is to discover the exact geographical location of a man's grouch -- whether it is in his tooth, his vanity or his digestion, or is just a chronic condition of the whole system."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman; he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Flattery affects a man like any other sort of 'dope.' It stimulates and exhilarates him for the moment, but usually ends by going to his head and making him act foolish."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practised coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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" These three things Man feareth: Oysters out of season, / A Babe that plays with fire, and a Woman who can reason!"

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him; the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him; but it's the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him."

Helen Rowland, in Franklin P. Adams et al., The Book of Diversion (1925)

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"A man may talk inspiringly to a woman about love in the abstract -- but the look in his eyes is always perfectly concrete."

Helen Rowland, in Franklin P. Adams et al., The Book of Diversion (1925)

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"Nothing so annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him 'forever' when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks."

Helen Rowland, in Franklin P. Adams et al., The Book of Diversion (1925)

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"Fortunately for women, most men mistake loneliness for love before marriage, and habit for happiness afterward."

Helen Rowland, in Franklin P. Adams et al., The Book of Diversion (1925)

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"Love will never be ideal until man recovers from the illusion that he can be just a little bit true, just a little bit faithful, or just a little bit married."

Helen Rowland, in Franklin P. Adams et al., The Book of Diversion (1925)

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"Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time."

Helen Rowland, in Franklin P. Adams et al., The Book of Diversion (1925)

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"Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty ... "

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch, and the sinner his justification."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Matrimony is a bargain -- and somebody has got to get the worst of the bargain."

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl (1909)

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"Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life for you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Love like chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken on blind faith or it loses all its flavor."

Helen Rowland

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"A woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them."

Helen Rowland, The Sayings of Mrs. Solomon (1913)

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"Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him."

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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"Verily, the best of husbands hath many raw edges, and many unnecessary pleats in his temper, and many wrinkles in his disposition, which must be removed."

Helen Rowland, The Sayings of Mrs. Solomon (1913)

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"No man can understand why a woman should prefer a good reputation to a good time."

Helen Rowland

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"The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. "

Helen Rowland, A Guide to Men (1922)

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Helen Rowland, U.S. writer, journalist, humorist
(1876 - 1950)