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Mary Wilson Little
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“Musicians are divided into two classes — those who like to hear themselves play and those who like to hear themselves sing.”
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“The tombstone is about the only thing that can stand upright and lie on its face at the same time.”
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“It is difficult to tell which gives some couples the most happiness, the minister who marries them, or the judge who divorces them.”
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“Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol, except health, happiness, and money.”
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“The penalty of success is to be bored by the attentions of people who formerly snubbed you.”
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“It is remarkable how generous fishermen are. When you meet a man who has returned from a fishing trip he always tells you that he gave his share to the other fellow.”
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“In some parts of Ireland the sleep which knows no waking is always followed by a wake which knows no sleeping.”
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“ There is no harm in eating corn off the cob; the impoliteness consists in looking at the person who is doing it.”
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“When the unpaid grocer comes in at the door romance flies out of the window.”
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“Men who make no pretensions to being good on one day out of seven are called sinners.”
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“Family picnics are made up of parents, children, sisters, cousins, and ants.”
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“ There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do — and not doing it.”
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“A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.”
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“No man feels like laughing when he bumps his funny-bone.”
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“If a mosquito bite thee on one hand, give him the other — palm downward.”
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“Politeness is only one-half good manners and the other half good lying.”
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“He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become as wise at sixty as he thought himself at twenty.”
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“Politeness may be nothing but veneering, but a veneered slab has the advantage of being without splinters.”
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“If the pen is mightier than the sword, why are not editors paid more than major-generals?”
Mary Wilson Little, U.S. writer
Mary Wilson Little wrote only the one book (apparently) and there’s no (apparent) information on her.