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“Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.”
“My weight is always perfect for my height — which varies.”
“Mercy, it's the revolution, and I'm in my bathrobe!”
“Hi, this is Sylvia. I'm not at home right now, so when you hear the beep ... hang up.”
“Getting old in America ... best to do it somewhere else.”
“Most of us are animal lovers. We insist that we love all animals equally — the hamster, the weasel, and the zebra — but if pressed, we will admit to being either a cat person or a dog person.”
“We all know how cats feel about traveling in a car. You never see a cat with his head out the window, fur flying in the breeze. A cat is never anyone's designated driver.”
“So she says I can't have catnip any more because it's like a drug. So, like, what's she worried about: I'm not going to do well in school or what?”
“Dogs are joiners; if they were guys, their idea of a good time would be to attend an Elks luncheon ... ”
Nicole Hollander, U.S. cartoonist, writer
Full name: Nicole Garrison Hollander.